Phantom startups of 2016

I was very interested in BetaList’s compilation of startups to watch in 2016, but what’s really interesting are the startups that are missing from the list. I can hardly fault BetaList for the oversight, however, since none of these exist yet. Look for them in early 2017.

NetSlacks

Work, watch and chill

Slack has made your team more productive than ever. Netflix helps them relax at the end of an 18-hour day. Now discover the app that brings them together, so your team can collaboratively heckle and annotate their favorite movies. Build team playlists and gamify viewing by rewarding points for the employee who clears their viewing queue the fastest. Even better, reward points for employees who skip the movie-watching in order to deliver enhanced productivity for shareholder value maximization.

Kindergarten Kanban

Trello for the Pre-School Crowd

Now that babies use smartphones, the majority of private school students are app-ready by the time they enter kindergarten. That represents a hugely lucrative captive market for productivity tools geared towards the high-pressure environment of preparing for admission to the right prep school, yet appropriate to the limited motor skills of the average 5-year-old. Kindergarten Kanban fills this niche with a colorful approach to organizing your child’s early learning and curricular enhancement goals. Stocked full of icons for the pre-literate child, KK lets Junior plan and achieve such accomplishments as “tie my shoes” and “use the toilet without prompting”.

MetaTask

Task management for the task manager

Wunderlist. Basecamp. Todoist. Asana. With so many productivity tools promising you unprecedented levels of accomplishment, you can’t afford to use anything less than the best. But how can you ensure that you have tried the full suite of available productivity tools — without wasting time and effort in re-trying those you have already tried and found wanting? Enter MetaTask, the first task manager dedicated to managing your list of must-try task management tools. The service is free for lists of up to 50 pending software titles; users pay a monthly fee of $1 for each additional software title they add to their pending list. Valley analysts project eight-figure revenues by the end of Q3.

SwipeVC

Venture funding for the single entrepreneur

When you’re running a startup, there’s no time for a relationship — heck, there’s barely time to swipe right for a hookup! That’s where SwipeVC comes in. Just fill out a profile that indicates your gender, sexual preferences, relationship status and capital requirements. Whether you’re looking for a short-term bridge or a long-term investment, SwipeVC will match you with the funder-lover that’s right for you.

ThinkPot

Capture inspiration where you find it

In the race for the next unicorn, you can’t afford to waste a single brilliant idea. That’s why ThinkPot has developed an interface targeted to the environment that yields the highest rate of IPH (inspiration per hour): your bathroom. From tissue capture to voice activated inspiration recording, ThinkPot offers an end-to-end solution that will dramatically increase your total innovation yield. Team licenses now available for up to 10 concurrent seats or urinals.